I arrived at work hungover; this is nothing new really but it managed to set the tone for the day. Sleepy and nauseous, I soon came into contact with the what was -- so far -- the busiest day of the year. Like clockwork, all the snowbirds from Canada and Washington state have swooped down upon this small desert town in a collective, yearly effort to avoid the frigid chill of the North.
One of my patrons was a well-mannered man from India who I will call "Mr. Lentil." Mr. Lentil carried with him a platinum briefcase -- contained within were a number of papers and DVDs. After introducing himself as a notable Bollywood film producer, he suggested in a roundabout way that I "might just be" what he was looking for. He explained that he was in need of a blonde lead -- the inability to speak Hindi would not pose any problems, and that airfare and accomodations would be paid in full. I agreed to the assignment and signed the relevant paperwork immediately.
That was about seven hours ago. Mid-way into my flight to Singapore (where the film will be executed), I was handed a script and found the title of the production to be Kisi Se Dil Laga Ke Dekho. My co-stars will be Shah Rukh Khan, Ayesha Jhulka, and Madhoo but I however will be in the starring role. I have already met Ayesha -- she's a bitch but I'm drawn to her sassy, shameless sense of entitlement. At one point I watched her throw a complimentary cocktail at a flight attendant and tell him he looked better wearing it (as opposed to the rude way he served it.) She tells me I'll be the first blonde lead in a major Bollywood production and that the only thing I have to fear is being offered more roles. "You'll hate this life," she says, "despite the money. Get out of it before you get kidnapped for your wealth on some filthy, Bombay back-alley." Apparently, she has been tossed into more than one automobile trunk during her stint as an actress of note.
Perhaps I'll give up my life as a librarian, perhaps I won't. I doubt the life of a Bollywood superstar is really where I ultimately see myself. After all, I still have outstanding plans to open Miso Horny, my aphrodisiac restaurant in San Francisco featuring nouveau-Japanese fare and Asian go-go dancers. I also have that open invitation to do a nightly strip show at my friend's pub in Ulan Bator. Sure, it'd just be another routine, but the tips are good and I've always wanted to lip-sync to Boom Boom Boom, Let's Go Back to My Room in Mongolian. I just don't know...
One of my patrons was a well-mannered man from India who I will call "Mr. Lentil." Mr. Lentil carried with him a platinum briefcase -- contained within were a number of papers and DVDs. After introducing himself as a notable Bollywood film producer, he suggested in a roundabout way that I "might just be" what he was looking for. He explained that he was in need of a blonde lead -- the inability to speak Hindi would not pose any problems, and that airfare and accomodations would be paid in full. I agreed to the assignment and signed the relevant paperwork immediately.
That was about seven hours ago. Mid-way into my flight to Singapore (where the film will be executed), I was handed a script and found the title of the production to be Kisi Se Dil Laga Ke Dekho. My co-stars will be Shah Rukh Khan, Ayesha Jhulka, and Madhoo but I however will be in the starring role. I have already met Ayesha -- she's a bitch but I'm drawn to her sassy, shameless sense of entitlement. At one point I watched her throw a complimentary cocktail at a flight attendant and tell him he looked better wearing it (as opposed to the rude way he served it.) She tells me I'll be the first blonde lead in a major Bollywood production and that the only thing I have to fear is being offered more roles. "You'll hate this life," she says, "despite the money. Get out of it before you get kidnapped for your wealth on some filthy, Bombay back-alley." Apparently, she has been tossed into more than one automobile trunk during her stint as an actress of note.
Perhaps I'll give up my life as a librarian, perhaps I won't. I doubt the life of a Bollywood superstar is really where I ultimately see myself. After all, I still have outstanding plans to open Miso Horny, my aphrodisiac restaurant in San Francisco featuring nouveau-Japanese fare and Asian go-go dancers. I also have that open invitation to do a nightly strip show at my friend's pub in Ulan Bator. Sure, it'd just be another routine, but the tips are good and I've always wanted to lip-sync to Boom Boom Boom, Let's Go Back to My Room in Mongolian. I just don't know...
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